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Know What You Want

I pride myself on being a can-do, make-it-happen type of gal – the kind of person who knows what she wants and where she is going. Yet, when recently faced with this journaling prompt question: “If I had a magic wand, and could grant you anything you described in one minute, what would you request?” I realized that I wasn’t so clear after all. Really, this should be simple! But I was fumbling. I needed time to think through the many dimensions of my wishes – the short term vs. long term goals, the personal and professional, the desires I have for myself and those that focus on others. Sorting through my many dreams, I have to capture those that really matter and give me deep joy.

This exercise re-affirmed for me that being able to crystallize what I really want into a concise, affirming statement is the first, critical step in making progress towards that destination. This is the “vision thing” that impacts both organizations and individuals. If we can’t create it in our minds, it is unlikely we are going to create it anywhere else.

Perhaps you too, need to clearly identify what you want to create in your work and your life. Any productivity or management expert will tell you the practical benefits of being clear include the ability to:

  • Focus your energy, plans and actions in support of your aspirations
  • Enlist partners, co-workers, family and other stakeholders who support your dream
  • Work step-by-step on the components of your vision
  • See new opportunities and possibilities that relate to your stated interests
  • Ask mentors and experts for help
  • Be grateful for the many resources and strengths you can apply to your vision
  • Know what success looks like so you can track your progress

Following are some directions and encouragement to set a clearer intention for the remainder of 2006.

There are many, many ways to go about identifying what you want. And there are many books and how-to guides that will give you their formula. I’ve read quite a few. Here is what I’ve learned:
  • Connect with what is genuine. If you’re going to go through the effort, you might as well map out what you honestly want, not what others think you should want or what is expected of you. Your authentic vision is a truthful reflection of your values and ideals. Separating your wants from those you have consciously or unconsciously adopted can be tricky indeed.
  • Create details. Conjure up vivid images that make you smile, with enough detail so they feel real.
  • Look for the linchpin. Often there are one or two items that could set in motion all the other things you want to see happen. Focus on those.
  • Revise. Why be limited by what you were able to dream yesterday? Upgrade anytime you’d like.
  • Put it in present tense. Most vision statements, personal or organizational identify the desired state as if it has already happened. The present-tense is a powerful message to the unconscious mind.
  • Thoughts and feelings matter. There are so many studies showing how negativity saps our energy, creativity and ability to inspire others. (See How Full is Your Bucket, Rath and Clifton) The emotional state, when you think about your vision has a profound impact on your ability to manifest it. Are you left angry, disappointed or deficient when you think of it? Try this: Imagine succeeding in every aspect of your desires. What feeling results? Cultivate that positive feeling to assist your efforts.
  • Wake up more. Open yourself to greater degrees of perception about yourself and your surroundings. Expect that what is happening right now is worth your attention and you will find that it is.
My personal experience with identifying my true vision and desires started about eight years ago, just before I started my own business.  I was feeling confused and conflicted about what I truly wanted, and I was at a workshop about creating one’s destiny. At the top of the page of a worksheet it said, “What do I want?”  I wrote about my confusion, about all the things I could want, but didn’t.  Then I went back to the question, “What do I want?”  I wrote about world peace, ending hunger, and ideas at that level.  Although it was true I wanted to see the world succeed at being better than it was for all its citizens, it did not really reflect a concrete “want” in the moment for me.  Back to the question. 

With pen poised, I noticed one of the other participants was wearing a nice pair of sandals.  I felt a want!  I wanted a pair of black strappy sandals!  Then the inner critic woke up: “Oh goodness, how embarrassing – first it’s ending world hunger and now you want fashionable footwear!”  I honestly felt betrayed that I would want something that I judged I shouldn’t care about. 

In that moment, I remembered the lessons about not giving in to that nay-saying voice.  So I wrote it down.  I want a pair of black strappy sandals.  Big deal.  At the break I walked down the street, found a wonderful shoe store and bought myself a nice pair of black, strappy sandals. Ah-hah!!  I had a desire, identified it, and successfully fulfilled it.  While seemingly trivial, this event actually was a big deal. It trained me in the process of noticing my desires and then doing what it takes to make them happen.  For the previous thirty-five years, I had been training myself in the following process:

  1. Ignore what you want.
  2. If something comes up that you think you want, talk yourself out of it, quickly, before you are disappointed.
  3. Look for something else to focus on.
Given this history, it is natural I would require some reprogramming!  Remember, it is OK to start small. First it was sandals, then it was helping one person, then it was starting a company, and now it’s writing a book.  Just start where you are and take it step-by-step. 

Call to Action

A journal is the perfect place to refine your aspirations and aims. Having a written vision keeps you on track and allows you to review and add to your ideas. Your journal can be anything from a document you create on your computer, to a fine embossed leather book with blank pages, to some notebook paper you staple together. It can be personally or professionally focused, or both. Suit yourself.

At the top of the page, write: “Is this what I really want?” Then write for 10 minutes whatever comes up. Do not censor or criticize, just write. You may also find yourself moved to draw, to write as if it was a news release from the future, or to use poetry rather than prose. It’s all good.

Over time, you may notice shifts in what you want. That’s fine; just focus on staying true to yourself and your desires in the present moment. You will lead yourself where you need to go.

 


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