Dear Friend,
I was recently asked to reflect on my past work experiences and identify significant moments of insight or achievement. What occurred to me primarily were the developmental moments – the learnings that changed me and have contributed to the way I work and think today. As I wrote about these formative moments, I was struck at the depth and scope of impact of these work experiences.
Who I have become is profoundly related to the people and situations I encountered in the past 25 years of jobs. My outlook was shaped by being a cashier at Main Pharmacy in my hometown, a computer salesperson, an international healthcare consultant, and every job in between.
After 15 or 25 years of professional employment, isn’t our cumulative work experience at least as influential as our upbringing? And if so, what are the implications for organizational managers and leaders? I will continue to ruminate on that.
In the meantime, this exercised re-affirmed my commitment to supporting leaders making a difference in their workplaces, because whether we are trying to or not, we are having an impact – one person at a time.
Best wishes for a great month,
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"At the very heart of leadership -
indeed, in its very soul - is
the art of conversation, the
ability to crate a dialogue that
others willingly join."
"At any level of responsibility in
the organization, the conversation is not about the work, the conversation is the work."
Quotes by David Whyte from
Five Conversations on the
Frontiers of Leadership, 2004.
In this issue:
- Feature Resources: Two New Teleclasses
- Feature Article: Find the Nugget
- A Listening Call to Action
Managing People You Rarely See Teleclass
Do you need to get rapid results from people collaborating across multiple locations? 
This class will address managing remote work relationships and frameworks for successfully managing projects across large distances. The potential of a distance team to accomplish amazing feats far outweighs the logistical liabilities, especially if you have the tools to effectively orchestrate your group's efforts. The course contains consolidated information packed into a 5-day teleclass and workbook you can use at your own pace. Read more...
Coaching Mastery for Managers Teleclass
Structure Your Coaching with Employees to Bring Out Their Best!
Coaching talents are highly valued in the workplace because they lay the foundation for significant improvements based a mutual respect, collaboration, and accountability between manager and employee. In this course you will receive practical “how to” instruction to increase your confidence and skill as a coach. Read more...
People have a strong need to be heard and understood. In workplaces this need is, unfortunately, rarely met. My focus on professional development coaching leads me often to the subject of listening. Even after years of studying the principles of deep listening, I regularly uncover new facets. Here are a few thoughts about how listening can lead to more effective communication at work and at home.
Unusually perceptive listening is the basis for increasing our visibility, credibility and effectiveness. One of the best ways you can move a conversation or meeting forward is to build on points that have been made by others – whether or not you agree with them. When you expand on an idea raised by another person, you acknowledge their contribution and move to a refined version of what they shared. The first step in this process is listening to what the other person is saying with the intention of finding a valuable nugget to build upon, even if it is buried in mud.
As time allows, you may choose to write down the key points you heard to make it easier for you to refer back to them. One method I have used successfully is to draw a line down the middle of my paper. On the left side, I keep track of items that are raised by others. On the right hand side, I record my thoughts and questions about those issues.
There are a number of challenges that interfere with listening. You may dislike or have little respect for some people in the meeting. They may raise issues in a way you find demeaning or upsetting. Your emotional reactions may be so strong, you have to restrain yourself from leaving the room. In your opinion, they may be boring, arrogant, ignorant or any one of a hundred other attributes. None of these issues matter in relation to your ability to listen for the key points they are making.
You are responsible for the messages you take in, irrespective of the speaker’s personal characteristics. You may be justified in accusing them of glossing over important facts, or of being unfair, dominating or discriminatory. However, you will not gain any credibility or help make progress on the issues unless you can create something more valuable. Just pointing out the problem, or being paralyzed because of it, does nothing to help you or the organization.
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The next time you are listening to someone share information at a meeting, ask yourself a few of the following listening questions:
- What point has the speaker just made? This is the basis for any further communication on the subject. Use this question to help yourself pay attention if your mind has wandered. Take notes.
- What was important about it? Different people have different perspectives on what is important about the same issue. You may see the budget shortfall as preventing needed services from being provided. The CPA in your midst may see it causing reconciliation problems. Assume there will be many important aspects of a key issue. What you perceived before you came into the meeting is just one of them.
- What is the essence of the issue? Seek insight into the heart of the matter. What is at the core or root? How can you express this in a simple, yet accurate manner?
- Is there any emotion associated with it? Listening for emotion is important because many people make decisions based on how they feel about an issue. You need to know if this is a highly charged issue, or more run-of-the-mill. How you respond will change based on the degree and type of emotion expressed by the speaker and the others in the room. Connecting with the emotion around the point raised is just as important as connecting with the content.
- What additional information would someone who raised that point care about? This question helps you sort through your own personal databanks to discover if you have any relevant factual information to introduce into the conversation, or if you need to suggest that gathering a particular type of data would shed light on the issue.
- What have I learned about the situation from this comment? What can you learn from hearing others speak? It may be one of a thousand things, such as the way they approached the topic, the politics of the situation, the economics underlying the approach, their beliefs, leverage points, etc. Keep your focus on learning something new, rather than defending what you knew before you walked in the room.
Be generous as you are considering the questions above. Sometimes people fumble with their words, their point may not flow logically, or they may not share their opinion gracefully. Pay attention to the point they were trying to make. Give them the benefit of the doubt. Look for the nugget of gold. If you do not understand what they said, ask clarifying questions. A few you can use are:
- “Can you say more about that?”
- “When you said … I didn’t understand exactly what you meant.”
- “I would like to understand that last point more fully.”
- “Is the issue …(describe what you thought you heard)…?
Be patient with yourself as you practice unusually perceptive listening. As you find yourself slipping into judgment about the speaker, feeling impatient, remembering previous interactions with the person, or disengaging from the conversation for whatever reason, gently return to the listening questions. Make a few notes about the issues being raised, and bring yourself back to the present interaction. You will find the rewards are worth the effort.
